I know from the title that you might to expect this to be about the importance of children getting enough sleep. —No, those little snots still have the eternal well-spring of energy that comes with youth– This is about how important it is to banish them to their room and for the parents to take the house back.
Be gone Disney, be gone asinine YouTubers, farewell fidget spinners. Your Mom and I have had enough squabbles over the remote, enough questions about when we can make slime, enough 4th grade drama, and enough of you.
This post may seem to be coming off mean. It isn’t; I promise. I love my kids, I really, really do, but I also love doughnuts and as sweet as they both are (doughnuts and my kids both) having them all the time is neither good for your body nor mind.
This is why bedtime was invented. Think about it, if it were logical, the poor working parents would go to bed before the kids, but no, we stay up later and get up earlier. While we manage our jobs, feeding the family, doing the laundry and etc. It gets tiresome and I am the husband… My poor wife. Instead we send the little balls of energy to bed to be well-rested, so they can be full of annoying vim and vigor all day tomorrow, while the slow grind of life wears us down to dust.
There is a reprieve, at the cost of less rest, we get a a magical hour or two of blissful peace. A time to watch shows that are not appropriate for ten-year-olds. A time for wine, beer, couch cuddles, and mutual tablet or phone zombie time. This is the time of day where the marriage is rebuilt, the time when you are reminded that not only did you procreate with your spouse, but that you actually like spending time with them.
It’s great. You can curse, tell each other bawdy drinking stories, and gossip about the neighbor. You no longer have to be the paragon of moral virtue and set an example for the part of the future generation that you spawned. The masks come off and the real you comes out like a werewolf on a full moon.
Try an experiment. Tonight or tomorrow, if you are reading this during the magic hours, take note of the tension in your shoulders through out the day. I would wager that as soon as you sent the Mongolian hoard that are your kids to bed, that the stress melts off of you like a toddler’s popsicle on new carpet.
Yet we love them. They are our world. But for Pete’s sake give us a break and go to bed!